Saturday, January 11, 2014

I Like Pizza - The Delightful Ganymedeans

"I Like Pizza" by Bern and Lukas Miller

In the year 2076, Jupiter's massive, red storm exploded into a cataclysmic event that sent shockwaves streaming through the galaxy. An orbiting moon-planet named Ganymede was slingshot into deep space. Rocketing toward the sun, it was heavily damaged as it passed through the asteroid belt.

The pummeled planet was spinning out of control before finally coming to rest within the Earth's orbit. Incredibly, we not only inherited a second moon but also strange, new guests from a beleaguered colony.

The Ganymedeans are a peaceful bunch who miraculously survived the harrowing 400 million mile journey. They lived in subterranean chambers while subsisting mainly on native roots and grubs. In the most dramatic rescue the world has ever seen, brave pilots from the IGG (Inter-Galactic Guard) shuttled survivors back to Earth.

After months of military debriefing, medical exams and governmental processing, the lucky pilgrims have assimilated into our way of life. They have become productive members of society and their shared knowledge has been vital to our understanding of how the solar system works.

Lured by the irresistible influence of American pop culture, most of the refugees have settled in the United States. They have developed a particular fondness for amusement parks especially the roller coasters, ice cream and pizza.

The delightful Ganymedeans can be seen toting younglings on their horned heads as they shuffle happily between the most exciting rides. With tentacled arms, the hungry aliens shovel pizza pies into their two mouths, eight at a time.

The expatriates prefer the warmer climate of the Nevada desert where they've built red-roofed homes in circular-shaped neighborhoods. Natural horticulturists, they stomp around in white space boots planting grass and trees.

The entire story seems to surreal to be true. Who could have ever imagined that during our nation's tricentennial, one of the most provocative questions of all time would be answered. We are not alone.

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